Well folks, the psychological Disneyland that was the 6017 memorial pledge run is complete, by the way, Psychological Disneyland would be a pretty good name for a band- TONIGHT ONLY Bobby Ross and Psychological Disneyland AND Ringworm -of course the band would probably be sued by the most cunning and vengeful organization on the planet, Disney.
Saturday morning, Mr. Tom Climo (more on him in a minute) and I made our way up the Gavin (or Gavan) Hill and Harbor Mountain Trails in just under two hours. For those of you preparing for the Alpine Run next month, there is no snow on the vertical part of the Gavin Hill trail (the first 2.5 miles of the route), and then intermittent areas of snow along the trail around the ridge to the wide portion of the Harbor Mountain Trail just before the parking lot (the last .75 miles of the route). I took about 20 minutes of video of the run on around the rim; I've added a video bar at the bottom of the page.
A word on the video-I decided to try and make it like old re-runs of Batman, so all of the video is crooked. Sorry for the Blair Witch effect, and I take no responsibility for any vertigo it may induce.
Tom Climo accompanied...OK pushed, me up the hill. Tom had said he would run with me about a month ago, but I only told him I was running up the hill last Thursday. When I showed up to St. Gregory Church in Sitka I was expecting to run alone, but there he was, sitting next to his bike, ready to go. Tom ran the entire route without breaking a sweat, while talking and he is 50 years old this year. I believe his superior physical shape and mental toughness is due to clean living, his Yankee heritage and a superhuman devotion to New England professional athletics teams. Despite this major shortcoming (Go Tigers, Bills and Sabres), he is an American Badass and I thank him for going with me.
Since I have run the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run, this will be my last round sent down-range into the interweb blogosphere. For those of you who read these entries and were motivated to donate to the CG Foundation to support the CG 6017 memorial, thank you again. If you have not donated, please consider making a donation by visiting www.6017memorial.org.
For those of you who stumbled upon this site in search of adult entertainment, secrets to liberal democratic freedoms or haggis recipes from Spain, I hope you took a moment to feel either shame, disappointment or confusion, whichever feeling is appropriate and THEN visited www.6017memorial.org to support the fund.
Thank you, good night.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
MARTY MARTENSON, CARMUDGEON
Well, we are into day 4 of packing up here before leaving Southeast AK. Oh, that's right, I haven't mentioned that we're leaving next week to move across country. So during this week, I'm trying to head off a cardiac event Saturday, pack out from our house, tie off any loose ends at work, say goodbye to friends and get on the ferry. I've also decided to hire a dwarf to come through the house at various times (0200, 0800, 1337, etc) blowing an air horn or a vivuzela depending on if our neighbors are home (I like to think I am a good neighbor-despite the whole "hairy zucchini" incident). It's strange, but I have noticed I'm getting gray hair for the first time.
The workouts continue, I was able to run Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I was going to play golf at Sea Mountain Golf Course on Friday (www.seamountaingolf.com), but the vagaries of union labor make me think I will be packing up the house on Friday afternoon. Should be sweet.
I truly appreciate the interest you have shown as blog readers, supporters of the 6017 Memorial fund drive or seekers of free internet entertainment in this last month and a half or so while I prepare for the run. During this period, I have mentioned a character...Actually, if you are not in your thirties, it is a mythical beast-if you are in your thirties and usually a man, though if you are a woman, possession of what I am about to describe is tragically funny-but I digress. If you are in your thirties and USUALLY a man, you become aware of the force of nature you possess RIGHT IN YOUR BODILY PERSON.
Of course, I am speaking of the wild nostril hair.
I have mentioned the Golden Nostril Hair about 6 times in this blog (OK, it has been mentioned in 6 drafts of this blog (quit laughing, I DO TOO draft and re-write this blog before publishing it)). Well, it so happens that gold is the color of my special talent-a yellowish hue that glints in the sun depending on the angle of my head and my relationship with the sun (which in SE AK is sometimes spotty at best).
It seems to be a milepost of aging, but I swear that I did not have the concerns surrounding unchecked nose hair growth 10 years ago. Now, I am forced (by my wife, who usually starts the self-consciousness by not saying anything except staring at it, much like your dog stares at you at the foot of your bed or when you get out of the shower...what? that doesn't happen to you? Must be just me-I am, after all, a specimen) to undergo eye-watering bouts of clipping and pulling individual nostril hairs which are migrating south out of my nose much like a Canadian retiree migrates from Quebec to S. FLA in November. And much like our Canadian retiree, these hairs go all akimbo and refuse to cooperate when they arrive in South Florida. At any one time I have at least one rhino like horn hair poking its way out, fighting for some kind of freedom ideal (what does a wild nostril hair hope for? To ride a horse? Surf? Play bunco?).
Because of my inability to undergo the extreme pain involved with plucking said hairs I engage in a type of doomed COIN strategy by tucking them back into the nostril. This works for about an hour and then the necessity of breathing allows the little rapscallion to go free again. Eventually, I must bite the bullet (one time literally) and use tweezers or until it broke, an electric nose hair trimmer to clip the offenders.
SIDEBAR: I know, having an electric nose hair trimmer is probably one of the reasons why the world despises the USA. Americans! So decadent, so lazy, so weak they have to invent an electric nose hair trimmer-ridiculous...you know you are jealous-especially everyone in the Middle East with your luxuriant facial hair growth. SIDEBAR OVER.
So after much gnashing of teeth and mental anguish, eventually, the Golden Nostril Hair is clipped. Everything is fine for a week or 10 days, and then the incontrovertible rule espoused by Cosmo Kramer about shaving is proven. Once you clip or trim a hair, it grows back thicker. I am then thrown back into battle against a stronger, more cunning foe. These are the problems we have.
I will try to give you a summary of how the run goes on Saturday, perhaps with video. If you are interested in donating to the 6017 Memorial, please go to www.6017memorial.org.
Marty Martenson, good luck getting these minutes back.
The workouts continue, I was able to run Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. I was going to play golf at Sea Mountain Golf Course on Friday (www.seamountaingolf.com), but the vagaries of union labor make me think I will be packing up the house on Friday afternoon. Should be sweet.
I truly appreciate the interest you have shown as blog readers, supporters of the 6017 Memorial fund drive or seekers of free internet entertainment in this last month and a half or so while I prepare for the run. During this period, I have mentioned a character...Actually, if you are not in your thirties, it is a mythical beast-if you are in your thirties and usually a man, though if you are a woman, possession of what I am about to describe is tragically funny-but I digress. If you are in your thirties and USUALLY a man, you become aware of the force of nature you possess RIGHT IN YOUR BODILY PERSON.
Of course, I am speaking of the wild nostril hair.
I have mentioned the Golden Nostril Hair about 6 times in this blog (OK, it has been mentioned in 6 drafts of this blog (quit laughing, I DO TOO draft and re-write this blog before publishing it)). Well, it so happens that gold is the color of my special talent-a yellowish hue that glints in the sun depending on the angle of my head and my relationship with the sun (which in SE AK is sometimes spotty at best).
It seems to be a milepost of aging, but I swear that I did not have the concerns surrounding unchecked nose hair growth 10 years ago. Now, I am forced (by my wife, who usually starts the self-consciousness by not saying anything except staring at it, much like your dog stares at you at the foot of your bed or when you get out of the shower...what? that doesn't happen to you? Must be just me-I am, after all, a specimen) to undergo eye-watering bouts of clipping and pulling individual nostril hairs which are migrating south out of my nose much like a Canadian retiree migrates from Quebec to S. FLA in November. And much like our Canadian retiree, these hairs go all akimbo and refuse to cooperate when they arrive in South Florida. At any one time I have at least one rhino like horn hair poking its way out, fighting for some kind of freedom ideal (what does a wild nostril hair hope for? To ride a horse? Surf? Play bunco?).
Because of my inability to undergo the extreme pain involved with plucking said hairs I engage in a type of doomed COIN strategy by tucking them back into the nostril. This works for about an hour and then the necessity of breathing allows the little rapscallion to go free again. Eventually, I must bite the bullet (one time literally) and use tweezers or until it broke, an electric nose hair trimmer to clip the offenders.
SIDEBAR: I know, having an electric nose hair trimmer is probably one of the reasons why the world despises the USA. Americans! So decadent, so lazy, so weak they have to invent an electric nose hair trimmer-ridiculous...you know you are jealous-especially everyone in the Middle East with your luxuriant facial hair growth. SIDEBAR OVER.
So after much gnashing of teeth and mental anguish, eventually, the Golden Nostril Hair is clipped. Everything is fine for a week or 10 days, and then the incontrovertible rule espoused by Cosmo Kramer about shaving is proven. Once you clip or trim a hair, it grows back thicker. I am then thrown back into battle against a stronger, more cunning foe. These are the problems we have.
I will try to give you a summary of how the run goes on Saturday, perhaps with video. If you are interested in donating to the 6017 Memorial, please go to www.6017memorial.org.
Marty Martenson, good luck getting these minutes back.
Monday, June 6, 2011
The Golden Nostril Hair and other stories
So this is the final push, the last week before the BIG RUN this Saturday. I would like to be able to tell you, dear reader, that training has been great; that this is the going to be a piece of cake and that I am looking forward to the run. Here is the truth:
The wheels have fallen completely off the wagon; I will be lucky if I do not vomit in the first 2 miles and than every .75 miles thereafter (Chris Y, this will be without the help of Sailor Jerry).
After the Julie Hughes (see 2 blogs ago), I felt the need to "take a day" or nine off in order to prepare for the summer solstice and associated Festivus celebration we have up here annually-nothing is better than watching the Feats of Strength and then the climatic Airing of Grievances. Well, after 4 days, I realized that I do not have numerous weeks to get ready for the run, I only have hours, panic set in. SO, as I blog, I am also on the treadmill, ramping up my efforts to get up the hill. If you are worried about my physical shape, don't, luckily, several photos of my physique have recently leaked onto the interweb: you can find them here. I have no idea who the guy in the gray underwear is, but I know it's not me because I don't have u-trou of that color.
Anyway, I hope this true, actual photographic evidence from the internet will alleviate any of your concerns about the success of the actual run. I know it will be a donation success because so many of you have contacted me about donating to the 6017 Memorial Fund with the Coast Guard Foundation. (I know, I've only got one person following this blog and 4 comments-looks pretty pathetic, but it's not, keep reading). As always, the donations are tax deductible, even in Iran.
Speaking of Iran, I ran 40 minutes today in the rain. This was the first time in about a month that I had to run in the rain and I forgot how much fun it is-and hydrating!
OK, so why mention home country of Ayatollah Khomeni? Well, through the wonder of our Big Brother friends at Google, one of the features of the free blog service this very friendly and non threatening company provides, in addition to proctological exams, is the ability to view where the people who are viewing the blog are viewing it from.
Last week, I think in response to the numerous uprisings across Africa and the Middle East (how's going Ghadafi, you crazy, golf cart driving nimrod (not the hunter)?) , the 6017 memorial pledge run got 7 page views from Iran. I only hope the secret information I have put in here regarding the outcome of the 2009 elections and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gives viewers there the key to their freedom and liberty.
SIDENOTE: How hard was this guy's life in secondary school?, I mean Ahmadinejad is hard to say and sounds like "Give me a banana" in Iranian-so I have been told, no wonder he is kind of nuts and creepy. SIDENOTE OVER.
Of course, if the Iran viewers are censors or government officials trying to get free adult internet, you can find that at www.dnc.org or www.rnc.org. Either way, you'll have fun and they are willing to take your money.
Because the time is ticking down, I will try to keep the blog entries quick and more numerous this week. In fact I will begin blogging from my phone as the movers come to take my computer away this week. Lucky you.
The wheels have fallen completely off the wagon; I will be lucky if I do not vomit in the first 2 miles and than every .75 miles thereafter (Chris Y, this will be without the help of Sailor Jerry).
After the Julie Hughes (see 2 blogs ago), I felt the need to "take a day" or nine off in order to prepare for the summer solstice and associated Festivus celebration we have up here annually-nothing is better than watching the Feats of Strength and then the climatic Airing of Grievances. Well, after 4 days, I realized that I do not have numerous weeks to get ready for the run, I only have hours, panic set in. SO, as I blog, I am also on the treadmill, ramping up my efforts to get up the hill. If you are worried about my physical shape, don't, luckily, several photos of my physique have recently leaked onto the interweb: you can find them here. I have no idea who the guy in the gray underwear is, but I know it's not me because I don't have u-trou of that color.
Anyway, I hope this true, actual photographic evidence from the internet will alleviate any of your concerns about the success of the actual run. I know it will be a donation success because so many of you have contacted me about donating to the 6017 Memorial Fund with the Coast Guard Foundation. (I know, I've only got one person following this blog and 4 comments-looks pretty pathetic, but it's not, keep reading). As always, the donations are tax deductible, even in Iran.
Speaking of Iran, I ran 40 minutes today in the rain. This was the first time in about a month that I had to run in the rain and I forgot how much fun it is-and hydrating!
OK, so why mention home country of Ayatollah Khomeni? Well, through the wonder of our Big Brother friends at Google, one of the features of the free blog service this very friendly and non threatening company provides, in addition to proctological exams, is the ability to view where the people who are viewing the blog are viewing it from.
Last week, I think in response to the numerous uprisings across Africa and the Middle East (how's going Ghadafi, you crazy, golf cart driving nimrod (not the hunter)?) , the 6017 memorial pledge run got 7 page views from Iran. I only hope the secret information I have put in here regarding the outcome of the 2009 elections and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad gives viewers there the key to their freedom and liberty.
SIDENOTE: How hard was this guy's life in secondary school?, I mean Ahmadinejad is hard to say and sounds like "Give me a banana" in Iranian-so I have been told, no wonder he is kind of nuts and creepy. SIDENOTE OVER.
Of course, if the Iran viewers are censors or government officials trying to get free adult internet, you can find that at www.dnc.org or www.rnc.org. Either way, you'll have fun and they are willing to take your money.
Because the time is ticking down, I will try to keep the blog entries quick and more numerous this week. In fact I will begin blogging from my phone as the movers come to take my computer away this week. Lucky you.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
The Beat Goes On
Well folks, not only did I finish the Julie Hughes Triathalon, I WON MY DIVISION. Thank you very much. In 1 hour and 45 minutes, I ran 5 miles, rode my bike 15 miles and swam 1000 yards. Numero Uno, the Cream of the Crop as it were...I see there is a question on the right side of the auditorium; go ahead Mr. Kerneski, what was that? How many people in my division? Well one...me.
If I sound like a wrestler, perhaps its because I have been noting the passing of the Macho Man Randy Savage. The man, quite possibly, was the best promotional interview in WWF history. I've decided to include two of his best here for your viewing pleasure: The Cream will rise to the Top and The Beat Goes On. If you liked those you might also want to search Macho Man interview with Mean Gene. Enjoy.
The training goes on for the pledge run; this week I will have to check out my stunt liver as we are having the Centennial of Naval Aviation Celebration Fly-in at work. Lots of networking to do with my DOD brethren, which leads me to the more important lesson this week of not teaching your kids to read.
Why wouldn't you teach your kids to read you ask? Well for one, if you have cable TV, the directory portion on the television presents the challenge of knowing exactly when the adult movie titles come up on the schedule. There is nothing more exasperating than having your young reader blurt out "Why are Moms on the Prowl?" as you are looking for the NHL playoffs (and I was-seriously); the only thing that is worse is the video section in any Southern California Frye's Electronics Store, which, if you have been there, goes from the best films produced by Disney to Vivid video's budget pile almost immediately, thus leaving you with the physical challenge of blinding your children while also retreating around the other families who have also stumbled onto this hidden Valhalla of adult self-gratification. Nothing is better.
I just read that last sentence, if you are able to as well, I congratulate you and thank you for your diligence in reading possibly the most entertaining blog on the entire internet. Next week, I'll go over my continuing quest to destroy the Golden Nostril Hair and my training efforts in preparation for the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run. Have a great week.
If I sound like a wrestler, perhaps its because I have been noting the passing of the Macho Man Randy Savage. The man, quite possibly, was the best promotional interview in WWF history. I've decided to include two of his best here for your viewing pleasure: The Cream will rise to the Top and The Beat Goes On. If you liked those you might also want to search Macho Man interview with Mean Gene. Enjoy.
The training goes on for the pledge run; this week I will have to check out my stunt liver as we are having the Centennial of Naval Aviation Celebration Fly-in at work. Lots of networking to do with my DOD brethren, which leads me to the more important lesson this week of not teaching your kids to read.
Why wouldn't you teach your kids to read you ask? Well for one, if you have cable TV, the directory portion on the television presents the challenge of knowing exactly when the adult movie titles come up on the schedule. There is nothing more exasperating than having your young reader blurt out "Why are Moms on the Prowl?" as you are looking for the NHL playoffs (and I was-seriously); the only thing that is worse is the video section in any Southern California Frye's Electronics Store, which, if you have been there, goes from the best films produced by Disney to Vivid video's budget pile almost immediately, thus leaving you with the physical challenge of blinding your children while also retreating around the other families who have also stumbled onto this hidden Valhalla of adult self-gratification. Nothing is better.
I just read that last sentence, if you are able to as well, I congratulate you and thank you for your diligence in reading possibly the most entertaining blog on the entire internet. Next week, I'll go over my continuing quest to destroy the Golden Nostril Hair and my training efforts in preparation for the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run. Have a great week.
Friday, May 20, 2011
THE RUN IS JUNE 11th-CALL OFF THE RAPTURE
Tomorrow I will endure the Julie Hughes Triathalon. It is a relatively short (5 mile run/between 10 and 14 mile bike ride (depending on who you talk to/1000 meter (or yard)) event. The reason I say "endure" is that this will be the most exercise I have voluntarily tried in about...well since I was 21, so like 5 years ago. In fact, the most recent Feat of Strength I have put myself through was agreeing to do the U.S. Coast Guard Rescue Swimmer physical fitness test if Notre Dame lost to Navy in football. This was in 2007. I mean, when was the last time ND lost to Navy-yeah I know, 1964; seemed like a sure thing at the time-stupid Notre Dame with their anti-papist theology department (Sorry Uncle Bill). About 9 months later I was able to complete my end of the bargain and finish the Rescue Swimmer PFT in one piece, mostly thanks to Jake Stall and his friend, Toedar, Leghair of the North. The reason I bring this up is:
1. I'm a bit nervous about the event (pre-game jitters if you will) and
2. To segue into the subject of PLEDGE RUN PARLAYS.
Whenever I speak to someone about the run, eventually the conversation moves to one of three subjects:
Why I am doing this (to raise money for a very worthy cause that is tax-deductible (there is the plug for this week-you can give by clicking on the link in the upper right hand corner of the page));
Was it humanly possible for Wilt Chamberlain to reach the non-basketball achievements he claimed (I think no, but it does depend on what the meaning of "achieved" means);
What I am willing to carry with me, do or wear while running up Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain in order to raise more money for the memorial.
These parlays/side-bets/dares have ranged from wearing a prime rib on my back to the spandex/viking helmet combo to imbibing Navy rum during the run (read the comments section). Because I think it will help to set some guidelines and perhaps assist you, the international blog reader, in providing me with some creative choices-because who wants to run up a hill in running shoes, workout gear and a Camelback? I offer you this short, hopefully informative GUIDE TO PLEDGE RUN PARLAYS.
1. Any challenges which may endanger my person, sound crazy or cause my wife to shake her head- $5000 donation
2. Challenges designed to make it more difficult to get up the hill and/or make you laugh-$1000
3. Challenges designed to highlight my innate and uncanny ability to look like a nimrod (and no, not the hunter)-free
Well, that is about it. If you make the donation and note it in the remarks section of the CG Foundation online form, I will do my best to make it happen and provide video evidence on this blog following the run. If you do offer a parlay, please keep in my I will be following the guidance of the Seal show at the San Diego Zoo while running up the course in that I will be taking only pictures and leaving only footprints (and perhaps vomit), and that at a minimum, I have to be home by dinner.
1. I'm a bit nervous about the event (pre-game jitters if you will) and
2. To segue into the subject of PLEDGE RUN PARLAYS.
Whenever I speak to someone about the run, eventually the conversation moves to one of three subjects:
Why I am doing this (to raise money for a very worthy cause that is tax-deductible (there is the plug for this week-you can give by clicking on the link in the upper right hand corner of the page));
Was it humanly possible for Wilt Chamberlain to reach the non-basketball achievements he claimed (I think no, but it does depend on what the meaning of "achieved" means);
What I am willing to carry with me, do or wear while running up Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain in order to raise more money for the memorial.
These parlays/side-bets/dares have ranged from wearing a prime rib on my back to the spandex/viking helmet combo to imbibing Navy rum during the run (read the comments section). Because I think it will help to set some guidelines and perhaps assist you, the international blog reader, in providing me with some creative choices-because who wants to run up a hill in running shoes, workout gear and a Camelback? I offer you this short, hopefully informative GUIDE TO PLEDGE RUN PARLAYS.
1. Any challenges which may endanger my person, sound crazy or cause my wife to shake her head- $5000 donation
2. Challenges designed to make it more difficult to get up the hill and/or make you laugh-$1000
3. Challenges designed to highlight my innate and uncanny ability to look like a nimrod (and no, not the hunter)-free
Well, that is about it. If you make the donation and note it in the remarks section of the CG Foundation online form, I will do my best to make it happen and provide video evidence on this blog following the run. If you do offer a parlay, please keep in my I will be following the guidance of the Seal show at the San Diego Zoo while running up the course in that I will be taking only pictures and leaving only footprints (and perhaps vomit), and that at a minimum, I have to be home by dinner.
Friday, May 13, 2011
NASCAR DOESN'T DRIVE ON MOTHER'S DAY in America
As I promised about two entries ago, I would give a detailed description of what I am carrying up the Gavin Hill/Harbor Mountain Trails in the event I run into a bear, wolverine, avalanche or Taliban. If you are familiar with SE Alaska you know the only thing we have not confirmed as being up in the Baranof Island mountains are Taliban. Anyway, I was going to provide a detailed description of the Emergency Action Pack, but since I have a small attention span, I keep getting interested in other things (ooo, butterflies!) and the pack planning keeps getting sidetracked. So far, the EAP consists of a Camelback water system, whistle, knife, light and Vaseline. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do with the Vaseline, but since I told my buddy Feve I would bring it, I figured I should because how often does something suggested as an offhanded joke and then discarded be needed later on in an actual emergency? I know, I don't want to take that chance either.
By the way, anyone who can come up with a reasonable explanation for the preceding sentence, that does not involve mental deficiency as the primary reason, will have a $25 donation to the memorial fund made in their name. If you can diagram the sentence and email to me, I will donate $50 and post it on the blog (the sentence diagram).
Ok, so another reason why you are not getting the full EAP list are the recent news items that Usama bin Laden was an avid email correspondent. Now I'm sure there were dozens, probably hundreds of emails about bringing down Western civilization and starting the Islamic Caliphate to stretch once again from the Western Med to the Pacific, but I have to believe there were a couple of run of the mill "admin" emails from a guy who did not leave his house for over, apparently, five years:
Dear Ali,
I got your last email, thank you for paying my late fine to the Abottabod Blockbuster for the third season of Lost. I haven't seen season four and I don't want to get on the late fine watch list with that shop. If you have a chance, could you pick a magic 8 ball on your next trip to the market? My eight kids are getting kind of bored cooped up in here and I also could use another resource when making major decisions. Hope all is well. Talk to you soon,
binnie
Sorry for the digression, but I think it's possible, however remote. So the training continues for the BIG RUN. Swam twice this week and ran once so far (if you've got a chance to check out the Sitka FAA weather cam today do it-it is awesome out), plus I walked across town (once again, harder than it sounds for someone like me).
I see there is a question in the back, go ahead, "Mike, you can't swim up Gavin Hill can you? Why are you swimming so much?" Great question, I'm really glad you asked.
As part of the whole training process I am undertaking (specialized diet, positive mental attitude, hyperbaric sleeping chamber, HGH), I am trying to get into aerobic shape without getting so sore that it takes just over 12.5 hours to finish the 7 mile course (Marty Martenson, I understand, 4.5 miles in an hour and 15 minutes is slow, but the Alpine Run is STRENUOUS, it says so four times on the flyer). I figure swimming is a good full body workout, it makes me feel like running is actually easier because I don't feel like I'm drowning and my wife seems to enjoy it when I wear my bathing suit. Another fantastic unintended consequence of this training regimen is that I intend to compete in the Julie Hughes Triathalon, Couch Potato division. This triathalon has been going for over 20 years up here in Sitka and it raises money for cancer research.
Another big upside is you can pick one of the three stages and use a golf cart to complete it. If you do use the golf cart option, you have to go 30 seconds in Eliason Harbor with an orca.
I'm kidding, there is no couch potato division and the golf cart option was outlawed 4 years ago after the orca sprained its dorsal fin. There is a Julie Hughes Triathalon and it is a great event-I highly recommend you check into it because it is fun for all ages.
One final piece of admin business. I have unfortunately provided some bum information regarding the Sitka Alpine Run. The official Sitka Alpine Run is run by the Horan family and is not affiliated to the Sitka Adventure Sports website. If you want to get on the waiting list for this year's Alpine Run please contact Chris Horan at horan@acsalaska.net.
Next week I will get another update into the blogosphere on my race/triathalon preps, release the actual run date and give you my observations on nostril hairs in your mid-30's and the risks of teaching your children how to read. Hello to all my viewers from the UK, Turkey and Malaysia!
By the way, anyone who can come up with a reasonable explanation for the preceding sentence, that does not involve mental deficiency as the primary reason, will have a $25 donation to the memorial fund made in their name. If you can diagram the sentence and email to me, I will donate $50 and post it on the blog (the sentence diagram).
Ok, so another reason why you are not getting the full EAP list are the recent news items that Usama bin Laden was an avid email correspondent. Now I'm sure there were dozens, probably hundreds of emails about bringing down Western civilization and starting the Islamic Caliphate to stretch once again from the Western Med to the Pacific, but I have to believe there were a couple of run of the mill "admin" emails from a guy who did not leave his house for over, apparently, five years:
Dear Ali,
I got your last email, thank you for paying my late fine to the Abottabod Blockbuster for the third season of Lost. I haven't seen season four and I don't want to get on the late fine watch list with that shop. If you have a chance, could you pick a magic 8 ball on your next trip to the market? My eight kids are getting kind of bored cooped up in here and I also could use another resource when making major decisions. Hope all is well. Talk to you soon,
binnie
Sorry for the digression, but I think it's possible, however remote. So the training continues for the BIG RUN. Swam twice this week and ran once so far (if you've got a chance to check out the Sitka FAA weather cam today do it-it is awesome out), plus I walked across town (once again, harder than it sounds for someone like me).
I see there is a question in the back, go ahead, "Mike, you can't swim up Gavin Hill can you? Why are you swimming so much?" Great question, I'm really glad you asked.
As part of the whole training process I am undertaking (specialized diet, positive mental attitude, hyperbaric sleeping chamber, HGH), I am trying to get into aerobic shape without getting so sore that it takes just over 12.5 hours to finish the 7 mile course (Marty Martenson, I understand, 4.5 miles in an hour and 15 minutes is slow, but the Alpine Run is STRENUOUS, it says so four times on the flyer). I figure swimming is a good full body workout, it makes me feel like running is actually easier because I don't feel like I'm drowning and my wife seems to enjoy it when I wear my bathing suit. Another fantastic unintended consequence of this training regimen is that I intend to compete in the Julie Hughes Triathalon, Couch Potato division. This triathalon has been going for over 20 years up here in Sitka and it raises money for cancer research.
Another big upside is you can pick one of the three stages and use a golf cart to complete it. If you do use the golf cart option, you have to go 30 seconds in Eliason Harbor with an orca.
I'm kidding, there is no couch potato division and the golf cart option was outlawed 4 years ago after the orca sprained its dorsal fin. There is a Julie Hughes Triathalon and it is a great event-I highly recommend you check into it because it is fun for all ages.
One final piece of admin business. I have unfortunately provided some bum information regarding the Sitka Alpine Run. The official Sitka Alpine Run is run by the Horan family and is not affiliated to the Sitka Adventure Sports website. If you want to get on the waiting list for this year's Alpine Run please contact Chris Horan at horan@acsalaska.net.
Next week I will get another update into the blogosphere on my race/triathalon preps, release the actual run date and give you my observations on nostril hairs in your mid-30's and the risks of teaching your children how to read. Hello to all my viewers from the UK, Turkey and Malaysia!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
THE WEEKLY UPDATE THAT COMES EVERY 12 DAYS OR SO
Folks, I apologize for being late this last week with the update; part of the reason is that I was held up at work for the last week working in a place that rhymes with Makistan or if you are the President, Mockistahn. I'm joking; I was actually recovering from a game of combat twister.
I've got a couple of important pieces of info; first off, those of you who have donated to the 6017 memorial fund, I thank you, we are at $9.5K. The memorial is paid for and we are now trying to get enough funding to pay for the immediate families of Sean Krueger, Adam Hoke and Brett Banks travel in August for the memorial dedication (If I have already mentioned this, I apologize).
Second, I think this is a disturbing indication that I am becoming too assimilated into the huge miasma that is the Federal Gov't bureaucracy, but if you have tried to figure out how to actually donate to the memorial fund and have been stumped by my 6017 Google document, I am sorry, again (this entire blog entry is one long apology-there's 12 years of Catholic education for you).
I have scrapped the Google doc. If you feel like donating just follow the link in the upper right hand corner of the page marked "CG FOUNDATION ON LINE GIVING". This will get you right to the CG Foundation page; make your tax-deductible donation and type "6017 Memorial Run" in the remarks section.
This was an all-business version of the blog; next update will get back to the hi-jinks and shenanigans involved with preparing for the memorial run.
I've got a couple of important pieces of info; first off, those of you who have donated to the 6017 memorial fund, I thank you, we are at $9.5K. The memorial is paid for and we are now trying to get enough funding to pay for the immediate families of Sean Krueger, Adam Hoke and Brett Banks travel in August for the memorial dedication (If I have already mentioned this, I apologize).
Second, I think this is a disturbing indication that I am becoming too assimilated into the huge miasma that is the Federal Gov't bureaucracy, but if you have tried to figure out how to actually donate to the memorial fund and have been stumped by my 6017 Google document, I am sorry, again (this entire blog entry is one long apology-there's 12 years of Catholic education for you).
I have scrapped the Google doc. If you feel like donating just follow the link in the upper right hand corner of the page marked "CG FOUNDATION ON LINE GIVING". This will get you right to the CG Foundation page; make your tax-deductible donation and type "6017 Memorial Run" in the remarks section.
This was an all-business version of the blog; next update will get back to the hi-jinks and shenanigans involved with preparing for the memorial run.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
MY GUARDIAN ANGELS BERET
OK, this week's update is chockful of excellent info. I am happy to announce that the fundraising is going very well. We recently surpassed our 20% goal towards $35K and have enough money to pay for the physical memorial. The larger portion of the memorial's budget is to provide travel costs for the families of Adam Hoke, Brett Banks and Sean Krueger to travel to Sitka this August for the 6017 memorial dedication. If you have gone to the CG Foundation 6017 website and donated, thank you.
Pretty good week of workouts, I swam twice and ran on Wednesday and Saturday. It is becoming easier to get through the first mile while running and I don't hallucinate until I am usually an hour and fifteen minutes into the workouts, so I think I'm right on track for the big run. Also, I have had a couple of questions from the thousands (yes, thousands) of Interweb viewers about the exact date of the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run. I have decided to keep this information secret until my hour long web-based announcement podcast-I've titled it, THE DECISION because that seemed to work out really well for LaBron James. I will make a video announcement about the exact date later this week-if it is bothering you so much not to know, I will be happy to tell you via email or text (if you know the number to the batphone) only after I have proof that you have donated a minimum of $25 to the 6017 memorial (MacGregor, you may tell 20 people, York's you may tell four people). That's right, I'm like Mary Kate Danaher, I've got a mercenary little heart, but it is for a good cause.
I said I would provide an in-depth description of my Emergency Action Plan for my run up the Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain trails. This would have addressed the specialized equipment I would be carrying when making the run. That was my intent, until I found out, like today, literally, that I will also have to worry about possible avalanches. How AWESOME is this?! Avalanches! Isn't Alaska sweet!? Seriously, I have to change my pants...it would not surprise me in the least if I find out that I also have to prepare for the Taliban during the last half mile of the run because they have decided that Baranof Island needs Shiria Law (probably did not spell that correctly, if there any imams reading this, please do not put a fatwa on my head, I meant this last sentence with the greatest respect). So long story longer, I have had to incorporate a couple other items into the Emergency Action Plan and it's not ready for a full description. However if you tune in to the planned hourlong podcast, THE DECISION, you will see the EAP in full-I'm kidding, I just made that last part up.
Finally, a couple of words about living in Alaska. It has been one of the best experiences of my life, and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. Why? For many reasons, but one of the them was graphically illustrated by a Sitka Sentinel police blotter entry on April 27th. In the immortal words of Dave Barry, I am not making this up:
11:58AM A caller reported his wallet and medications had been stolen, although he may have given them to a relative for safekeeping.
How cool is this town? Anyway, if you have gotten this far I am sorry for having taken those moments away from your life, but hopefully you will hit the link for the CG Foundation in the upper right of the page. Next week, we'll go over possible parley opportunities created by the memorial run, the probability of a nanometer thick layer of cosmic grease that covers the hands of children aged 5-11 worldwide and an explanation for why I am undergoing waterboarding training. Stay classy San Diego.
Pretty good week of workouts, I swam twice and ran on Wednesday and Saturday. It is becoming easier to get through the first mile while running and I don't hallucinate until I am usually an hour and fifteen minutes into the workouts, so I think I'm right on track for the big run. Also, I have had a couple of questions from the thousands (yes, thousands) of Interweb viewers about the exact date of the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run. I have decided to keep this information secret until my hour long web-based announcement podcast-I've titled it, THE DECISION because that seemed to work out really well for LaBron James. I will make a video announcement about the exact date later this week-if it is bothering you so much not to know, I will be happy to tell you via email or text (if you know the number to the batphone) only after I have proof that you have donated a minimum of $25 to the 6017 memorial (MacGregor, you may tell 20 people, York's you may tell four people). That's right, I'm like Mary Kate Danaher, I've got a mercenary little heart, but it is for a good cause.
I said I would provide an in-depth description of my Emergency Action Plan for my run up the Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain trails. This would have addressed the specialized equipment I would be carrying when making the run. That was my intent, until I found out, like today, literally, that I will also have to worry about possible avalanches. How AWESOME is this?! Avalanches! Isn't Alaska sweet!? Seriously, I have to change my pants...it would not surprise me in the least if I find out that I also have to prepare for the Taliban during the last half mile of the run because they have decided that Baranof Island needs Shiria Law (probably did not spell that correctly, if there any imams reading this, please do not put a fatwa on my head, I meant this last sentence with the greatest respect). So long story longer, I have had to incorporate a couple other items into the Emergency Action Plan and it's not ready for a full description. However if you tune in to the planned hourlong podcast, THE DECISION, you will see the EAP in full-I'm kidding, I just made that last part up.
Finally, a couple of words about living in Alaska. It has been one of the best experiences of my life, and if you have the opportunity, I highly recommend it. Why? For many reasons, but one of the them was graphically illustrated by a Sitka Sentinel police blotter entry on April 27th. In the immortal words of Dave Barry, I am not making this up:
11:58AM A caller reported his wallet and medications had been stolen, although he may have given them to a relative for safekeeping.
How cool is this town? Anyway, if you have gotten this far I am sorry for having taken those moments away from your life, but hopefully you will hit the link for the CG Foundation in the upper right of the page. Next week, we'll go over possible parley opportunities created by the memorial run, the probability of a nanometer thick layer of cosmic grease that covers the hands of children aged 5-11 worldwide and an explanation for why I am undergoing waterboarding training. Stay classy San Diego.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
CONDUCTING BOARDINGS WITH SAILOR JERRY
So, I got a good week of workouts done this week. As you may have read below, I ran the Gavin (or if you are from SOUTH Baranof Island-GAVAN) Hill trail; swam on ran and swam Monday, did the CrossFit workout "Murph" Tuesday, cooked dinner and picked up Kai and Tabitha Wednesday (this was much harder than it sounds).
I'm about to go and execute another one of my wife's directed workouts (try to imagine voluntary waterboarding) and then I will be riding the bike into work. Why is that last piece of info important? Because it will also allow me to post the first installment of the "Michael Frawley self-induced stroke video series" on Youtube this weekend-don't worry, if you are a follower of this blog like my good friend and professional stunt woman, Dawn York, you will get a heads up from the Interweb that the video is posted. Please don't hold me responsible if you puke after watching them.
I appreciate all of the supportive comments and suggestions and hope to incorporate some of them as part of my "Emergency Action Plan" in the event that I run into a bear during the run. This is a large concern for me since Baranof, Kruzof, and Admiralty Islands have the highest bear population apparently on earth. It is something like one bear per 1.5 square miles. This is higher then Jellyston-I mean Yellowstone, anywhere in Canada, Montana, and the Kenai Peninsula (sallies). We actually had a gentleman from the AK Dept of Fish and Game come to work last fall to talk about living safely with brown bears and during the talk, I thought I was an extra in the film Hamburger Hill listening to Dylan McDermott's character talk about Charlie. I am not making up the following quote from the AK DF&G representative's talk:
"Try to imagine the smartest dog you have ever met, give him paws the size of dinner plates, make him as fast as a quarter-horse in a sprint, uphill or down, and make him weigh between 1500 and 2000 pounds. This is a brown bear. As part of the DF&G program I have had to trap black bears and brown bears to try and tag them. When you snare and tranquilize a black bear, they try to climb trees and run away from you. When you snare and tranquilize a brown bear, they go into the brush and dig a hole, turn around and wait for what ever was dumb enough to mess with them."
Here was my take-away from that talk:
Bear=Viet Cong
Pretty sweet huh?
Next post, I will outline the latest on the memorial, my progress in preps for the run and its impacts on the profits of Sailor Jerry Navy rum and give an in-depth description of the Memorial Run EAP. I hope you can't wait, I know I can't. Oh and Chris York, the run will be the week of 3 June 2011. More on that later.
I'm about to go and execute another one of my wife's directed workouts (try to imagine voluntary waterboarding) and then I will be riding the bike into work. Why is that last piece of info important? Because it will also allow me to post the first installment of the "Michael Frawley self-induced stroke video series" on Youtube this weekend-don't worry, if you are a follower of this blog like my good friend and professional stunt woman, Dawn York, you will get a heads up from the Interweb that the video is posted. Please don't hold me responsible if you puke after watching them.
I appreciate all of the supportive comments and suggestions and hope to incorporate some of them as part of my "Emergency Action Plan" in the event that I run into a bear during the run. This is a large concern for me since Baranof, Kruzof, and Admiralty Islands have the highest bear population apparently on earth. It is something like one bear per 1.5 square miles. This is higher then Jellyston-I mean Yellowstone, anywhere in Canada, Montana, and the Kenai Peninsula (sallies). We actually had a gentleman from the AK Dept of Fish and Game come to work last fall to talk about living safely with brown bears and during the talk, I thought I was an extra in the film Hamburger Hill listening to Dylan McDermott's character talk about Charlie. I am not making up the following quote from the AK DF&G representative's talk:
"Try to imagine the smartest dog you have ever met, give him paws the size of dinner plates, make him as fast as a quarter-horse in a sprint, uphill or down, and make him weigh between 1500 and 2000 pounds. This is a brown bear. As part of the DF&G program I have had to trap black bears and brown bears to try and tag them. When you snare and tranquilize a black bear, they try to climb trees and run away from you. When you snare and tranquilize a brown bear, they go into the brush and dig a hole, turn around and wait for what ever was dumb enough to mess with them."
Here was my take-away from that talk:
Bear=Viet Cong
Pretty sweet huh?
Next post, I will outline the latest on the memorial, my progress in preps for the run and its impacts on the profits of Sailor Jerry Navy rum and give an in-depth description of the Memorial Run EAP. I hope you can't wait, I know I can't. Oh and Chris York, the run will be the week of 3 June 2011. More on that later.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Did you do your taxes?
Hopefully you did and chances are, only half of you had to pay-mostly because (according to Drudge) only 47% of Americans pay taxes. Why did I ask? No reason other than it makes a good title, kind of like Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Anyway, memorial run preps continue, I was able to get about 2/3 of the way up the Gavin Hill trail this morning. Had to stop because of the snow on the trail and I did not bring my Yak Trax. Overall, I ran one hour and ten minutes and covered about 4.5 miles. Later this week I hope to fully leverage the wonder of the Interweb and will post some videos of the Gavin Hill trail and of the run preparations. I think the most interesting part of these videos will be the soundtracks which will consist primarily of me gasping and cursing like a Bahamian stevedore. I'm sure you are as excited as I am about this newest initiative.
I think I said I would post about once a week, depending on viewer feedback and how often I can put something somewhat coherent onto the screen. My goal is to, first, raise money for the memorial, and second, become a sort of sounding board for the everyman, kind of like Peter Griffin.
Finally, I was able to set up a Google spreadsheet where you, if you wish, can put in your name and pledge amount for my run. I will then pass this info to the Coast Guard Foundation so they are able to give keep track of those of you generous enough to support this fundraiser. The link is in the upper right hand corner of the page. Thank you for your support.
Well, I will leave you now to listen to my 7 year old son's lament about how he does not want to grow up and he cannot read. The amazing thing is it is very similar to The Jerk.
Anyway, memorial run preps continue, I was able to get about 2/3 of the way up the Gavin Hill trail this morning. Had to stop because of the snow on the trail and I did not bring my Yak Trax. Overall, I ran one hour and ten minutes and covered about 4.5 miles. Later this week I hope to fully leverage the wonder of the Interweb and will post some videos of the Gavin Hill trail and of the run preparations. I think the most interesting part of these videos will be the soundtracks which will consist primarily of me gasping and cursing like a Bahamian stevedore. I'm sure you are as excited as I am about this newest initiative.
I think I said I would post about once a week, depending on viewer feedback and how often I can put something somewhat coherent onto the screen. My goal is to, first, raise money for the memorial, and second, become a sort of sounding board for the everyman, kind of like Peter Griffin.
Finally, I was able to set up a Google spreadsheet where you, if you wish, can put in your name and pledge amount for my run. I will then pass this info to the Coast Guard Foundation so they are able to give keep track of those of you generous enough to support this fundraiser. The link is in the upper right hand corner of the page. Thank you for your support.
Well, I will leave you now to listen to my 7 year old son's lament about how he does not want to grow up and he cannot read. The amazing thing is it is very similar to The Jerk.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Mike, you're a "with it" guy, but why a blog?
Great question. Blogging on the Interweb seems to be the best way to communicate with my legions of fans and to reach out to those individuals who might be interested in donating money for the CG6017 memorial and its dedication. I suppose we could ask the people of SE Alaska and Sitka to donate funds, but since they have already given over $30,000 to the three families effected by the crash, I figured it might help to reach out to those folks in the Lower 48.
I came upon the idea to run the Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain trails here on Baranof Island since I missed last years run and will not be in Sitka this summer for the 18th annual Sitka Alpine Run. Running the trail for pledge money to help pay for the memorial and travel of the families back to Sitka for the memorial dedication seemed like a good fit. It is important that you know why I (a 36 year old sedentary mammal, happier with a stiff drink and a book) would pursue running up a trail course listed as "strenuous", but at the same time I think I owe you a little entertainment, a little derring-do. So each week, I will keep you up to date on the preparations of Team Don't have a heart-I mean, Team Frawley and the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run. If it is a good week, I will recount some of my 8 year old daughter's diatribes against the evils of homeschooling and her mother's annoying habit of "forcing" her to learn basic math and science skills. In the meantime, I leave you with this important and priceless video footage of our Vice President.
I came upon the idea to run the Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain trails here on Baranof Island since I missed last years run and will not be in Sitka this summer for the 18th annual Sitka Alpine Run. Running the trail for pledge money to help pay for the memorial and travel of the families back to Sitka for the memorial dedication seemed like a good fit. It is important that you know why I (a 36 year old sedentary mammal, happier with a stiff drink and a book) would pursue running up a trail course listed as "strenuous", but at the same time I think I owe you a little entertainment, a little derring-do. So each week, I will keep you up to date on the preparations of Team Don't have a heart-I mean, Team Frawley and the 6017 Memorial Pledge Run. If it is a good week, I will recount some of my 8 year old daughter's diatribes against the evils of homeschooling and her mother's annoying habit of "forcing" her to learn basic math and science skills. In the meantime, I leave you with this important and priceless video footage of our Vice President.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Coast Guard 6017 Memorial Pledge Run
On July 7 2010, Coast Guard 6017, an H60 helicopter, crashed while flying from Astoria, OR to Sitka, AK. Three good men, Sean Krueger, Adam Hoke and Brett Banks died that day. Shortly after the tragedy it was decided to build a memorial at U. S. Coast Guard Air Station Sitka to remember them. The memorial is going to be centered around a Tlingit totem pole donated by the Sitka Tribe of Alaska.
Despite this extremely generous gift, the memorial and its dedication is still expected to cost approximately $35,000. I am going to try and raise some of this money by running up the Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain Trails in Sitka, Alaska for pledge money. This is also the same course run every year under the name Sitka Alpine Adventure Run. I hope you enjoy watching and reading about my preparations, and I hope you decide to support the Coast Guard 6017 Memorial by going to the Coast Guard Foundation to donate. I hope I am not eaten by a bear.
Despite this extremely generous gift, the memorial and its dedication is still expected to cost approximately $35,000. I am going to try and raise some of this money by running up the Gavin Hill and Harbor Mountain Trails in Sitka, Alaska for pledge money. This is also the same course run every year under the name Sitka Alpine Adventure Run. I hope you enjoy watching and reading about my preparations, and I hope you decide to support the Coast Guard 6017 Memorial by going to the Coast Guard Foundation to donate. I hope I am not eaten by a bear.
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